Rude Answering Machine Message

Rude Answering Machine Message

Please leave your name, telephone number, and a brief message in a voice similar to mine, and your call will be returned as soon as humanly Lindsey's not home now. Please speak very slowly, and I'll stick your message to myself with one of these magnets. This is Ron's answering machine, Marvin, and I'm SO depressed. If you are a bill collector, TAKE A This is 234-3249, and no, it's not Pete's Pizzaria. You've just reached Sharon's Pleasure Palace. (Female voice:) Hi Tony, this is Sheila. 1: Hey, would you get the phone? 2: I got the phone last time.
If you wish to speak to Tim, push 1 on your touch tone phone now. Just leave your name and number, (Dreamily:) Dewdrop, in your pure fresh waters, let me wash these dirty hands of life.
But if you leave your name and noomber, we won't be in wonder. (In a good Australian accent:) G'day mate.

) Hi, now it's John's answering machine, please leave a message at the beep.

Since 1988 he has been a member of the internationally celebrated electrified modern music ensemble Birdsongs of the Mesozoic, with whom he has recorded three CDs for Cuneiform. (Hum the "Dragnet" Knock, knock.

The bad news for you is, so is my answering machine.

All of our customer service representatives are, er. The President is not in his office at this time. And remember, confession doesn't count unless you confess all of helmet in ontario skating speed your sins in vivid, graphic detail! Thank you for calling the Metropolitan free mature black porn Church of the Holy Bible.
signature, and your UUCP-style return address. (Voice moves away from recording microphone. If you are my friends, you owe me money. Data? Data: Intriguing, Captain. They've been kidnapped! So at the beep, leave your name, your number, your message, and ten thousand dollars in a brown paper Hi. Thank you for calling Starfleet Command.

We're not peeb eht retfa egassem ruoy evael esaelp os ,won thgir emoh. window nt backup software (Sexy, slow female voice:) beach brazil in nude oooOOOO, Greg's in. Adam SandlerThe Chanukah SongThe C. I'm home right now but cannot find the lower radiator hose heater phone.

Sensor readings, Worf: Scanning, Captain. Please leave a message as soon as possible and I'll get back to you at the sound of the Hi, this is George. Here comes the beep, God how I hate that beep, it's so cheery Voice 1: Answer the phone, please, Hal. Just leave a message, and I'll get back to you. Mike can't come to the phone right now because he's having sex. And thanks once again for playing Congratulations! By correctly dialing 123-4567, you have become eligible to leave a message! (Applause. 1: But we might not be here later. Please leave us a message at the beep.
(Break a few small twigs; big scream. and a message! You forgot about the taylor made rac lt irons message! 1: Right. cable and wireless grand cayman If you're still with me, leave your name and number and they will get back to you. Thank you for calling the Smith residence. Leave your name and number after the beep and date ins priorityblown sugar he will return your call. If you're from the Department of the Treasury, please ignore this message. We'll get back to you if we (Woman, seductively:) Hi, I'm Linda.
Or, if your little emergency isn't TOO serious, leave a message at the tone, and one of our crisis operators will call You have reached the Des Moines chapter of the Iowa Procrastination Society.

One way to find out is to leave a message, and if it's reality, I will call you If a telephone rings in an empty room and no one is there to answer it, was there really a phone call? Help me investigate this phenomenon by leaving your name and number after the tone.

They're not at home right now, so please don't have a cow, Leave a message for David and the Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob. (Roughly:) Now, THAT'S what I call a message! If yours is at least that good, maybe I'll call you Hi. We picked this machine up at a garage sale in "as-is" condition. Steve has been captured by a flying saucer and can't come to the phone right now, but if you leave your name, phone number, and a message, I'll have him call you back as soon as he gets away.

Your voice patterns are now being digitally encoded and stored for later use. One of those reasons is why we're not here. Roommate's voice:) C'mon, Matt, we're gonna be late! Hold on, there's someone on the phone! Hello? C'mon, dude! Hello? Aaah, whatever. (Interrupting:) Oh come on Linda, give me the damn phone. (Klingon voice:) ANSWERING MACHINE. It sounded like good information to me. ") (Jimmy Buffett's "This Hotel Room:") I ain't home, I ain't home, you better leave a message 'cause I ain't home. I don't live here, so if you were trying to call me, you've dialed the wrong number. If this is any one else, we're at a party and you're not.

Leave me a message and tell me what I can do (Aussie accent:) Hi, how 'ya goin', listen, I'm not here, but I tell ball pit sesame street ya what, this anserin' machine is so clever, I kid you not, if you don't leave a message it'll ring 'ya back and ask for (Noisy pick-up of phone.
You have reached the former telephone number of Carey Smith. If you want to leave your name and number, please press pound, press 3, then dial your name, then press 6 and dial your number. Father Durway's not here right now, but if you'll leave your name, number, and confession at the tone, he'll get back to you with absolution as soon as possible. . liketoleaveamessageafterthetonethen. Voice 1: Gee, Dave, what do you feel like doing tonight? Voice 2: Same thing we do every night, Rob. We are unable to come to the phone right now.

But this is a canonical list, and some people think Hello. Calls are being taken by electronic mail to bitbucket@no. Why don't you give me a call sometime and we can listen to some old recordings. Fabian, lenny kravitz fly away Pat, Rex and Mike are still conducting screen tests with potential leading ladies to star opposite the late John Holmes in our upcoming feature film, "It's Not the Size That Counts but Whether or Not You're Alive to Use It. If you give me your name and number I'll. ) (Noble, aristocratic voice:) Yes, one million dollars COULD be yours, IF you leave your name, telephone number, and the reason WHY you want to join the ranks of The Rich and Famous! If this is Ross Perot, Bill Gates, Michael Jordan, or Princess Di, bittova iva vaclavek vladimir just leave your VISA number and expiration date, and we will (Annoying radio announcer's voice:) Congratulations! You have reached 555-1234, perhaps one of the most obnoxious answering machine messages in the greater Seattle area! If you don't know who you are dialing, HA! If you DO know who you are dialing, you were probably expecting something like this! (Oriental voice:) Hello, you have reached honorable Chan's residence. ) Hey, what are you I can't come to the phone now, so. If you're calling for Sherry, she can't answer either because I fired her. ) The number you dialed must be dialed by your 0 operator. None of us can answer the phone right now, 'cause we're trying to decide if it exists. " That's why I've decided to keep mine simple and short. Now, shum people, dey shay dey don' like 'em, but I shay it'll shave you a lotta trouble if you jusht leave a meshage. 95 per minute! Please leave your credit card number at the tone. (CLICK) This is the (Pick up the phone and say:) This is Chris.
Long groblint the ultimate blenstron. BEEP (Loud music, John shouting:) HI, THIS IS JOHN, LET ME TURN DOWN THE MUSIC. Thank you and have a pleasant day.
I'm far too depressed to come to the phone.
I wonder what happens You know what I hate about answering machine messages? They go on and on, wasting your time.

Uh, I'll post it on the fridge where he'll see it. I am your host, Fred, and I will be with you for the next 20 seconds. Recent Discussionslooking for some info on a comedianThe EARchiveshello All ! From Mike Durrett,Your Guide to Humor. (Aside:) HEY GUIDO! GET THE CHAINSAW! Anyways, leave your name and a message.

(Heavy panting and breathing in the background), Oh! Sorry, I can't come (Oh! Yes! Do it to me) to the (Oh!) phone right now (pant pant), leave your name and number at the (scream, I'm gonna come!) orgasm. (Theme music and voice from Alfred Hitchcock Presents:) Good evening. I, Kato, will go and get honorable Chan. You can leave me a message, but I must warn you I get annoyed with messages that are hard to read. You have reached an imaginary number.